Behavior and Discipline

All teachers at Kid Krazy Preschool manage behavior in their classrooms in a non-punitive, age appropriate manner. Our staff uses positive guidance, redirection, and the setting of clear-cut limits that foster the child's own ability to become self-disciplined. Staff will encourage children to respect other people, to be fair, respect property and to be responsible for their actions. We approach discipline as a loving way of setting clear boundaries, expectations and consequences. Discipline is deliberate, thought out; it is not out of anger or emotion. Under no circumstances will children be subject to physical punishment or abusive language, as these approaches teach children to respond in the same manner. Staff will guide children to develop self-control and approach peers and adults in a respectful manner by first actively listening to children. Active Listening (a term first used by Thomas Gordon in his book Parent Effectiveness Training) is a way of first listening to verbal and/or non-verbal language and then reflecting back to the child the "message" which we received. Listening in this manner not only encourages children to keep the lines of communication open, it also validates the child's needs and feelings. For example:

When two children are in conflict over use of some equipment, it might go like this

• Adult: "Joe, I see you're crying. You look sad."
• Joe: "Megan took my trike and I wasn't finished."
• Adult: "Oh, I see. Megan, it looks as though you want to ride that trike right now."
• Megan: "I want it."
• Adult: "I see, Megan, that you want a turn on the trike. Joe said he wasn't finished yet."

After some further clarification and acknowledgment of each child's wants, the children will usually agree to a way they can both win by taking turns.

By acknowledging and accepting children's feelings and by helping them become aware of the feelings of others, we are raising children who feel valued for the very special people they are.

Setting Behavior Limits - Communicating what is NOT OK

By providing a child-centered program, meeting children's needs, and consistently demonstrating respect for all people, Kid Krazy Preschool has developed an atmosphere in which children do not usually need to act out their feelings in unacceptable ways. It is normal, however, for children to need specific guidelines for behavior, and to need occasional demonstrations of the limits. Teachers focus on social skills in their daily interactions with children and in the curriculum.
When discipline is called for, we state the behavior limit in a positive manner, briefly giving the child information about why the limit is being set. When stated positively, the child gets the message, "this teacher cares about me and my safety." We then work with the child by giving her choices or by helping her find a safe way to get her needs met. For example,

A child is climbing over the railing of the climber and jumping to the surface below.
This is a behavior limit because it's not safe. The child could get hurt.

Acknowledge the child's need:
"You're really having fun jumping from this high place."

State the limit in a positive manner:
"This is not a place for jumping because the surface here is hard and you could get hurt."

Help the child find a place to get her need met:
"Can you think of a place where you can jump where you won't get hurt?"

When dealing with younger, even pre-verbal children, just offering a safe alternative might be enough.
"You're having fun, but this isn't safe. You can jump over here. This is safe."

Most of the time, the children accept verbal reminders of acceptable behavior. We work on setting appropriate limits and on teaching them consistently. Sometimes we need to clarify our message by temporarily restricting where a child can play. For example:

If a child is throwing toys in the kitchen play area (which the teacher has already clarified is unsafe) and after a reminder of appropriate and safe action has been given, will be removed from the area and guided to another. The child will not be able to play in the area for duration of time which can be from 15 minutes to the morning or afternoon session. The duration is dependent on the age, child, and the behavior. It is always followed by the teacher verbally expressing her understanding that the child is "still learning" and she/he will be given another opportunity to play in the area appropriately and safely.

Biting

Children biting other children are one of the most common and most difficult behaviors in group childcare/preschool. It can occur without warning, is difficult to defend against, and provokes strong emotional responses in the biter, the victim, the parents, and the caregivers involved.

For many toddlers, the biting stage is just a passing problem. Toddlers try it out as a way to get what they want from another toddler. They are in the process of learning what is socially acceptable and what is not. They discover that biting is a sure-fire way to cause the other child to drop what they are holding so the biter can pick it up. However, they experience the disapproval of the adults nearby and eventually learn other ways of gaining possession of objects or expressing difficult feelings.

For other children, biting is a persistent and chronic problem. They may bite for a variety of reasons: teething, frustration, boredom, inadequate language skills, stress or change in the environment, feeling threatened, or to feel a sense of power. No matter what the cause, at Kid Krazy, it is never acceptable, however, it is understandable and the staff will work very hard to teach appropriate ways to achieve the needs of the individual child.

When biting occurs, Kid Krazy teachers will take the following steps:

• The biter is immediately removed with no emotion, using words such as "biting is not okay- it hurts." Teacher will avoid any immediate response that reinforces the biting or calls attention to the biter
• The victim is administered first aid and comforted.
• The teacher will guide the victim to the biter and will help allow the child to give her/his "voice" by telling the biter "It hurt when you bit me… or… I am sad because you bit me"
• The teacher will ask the victim "if there is anything the biter can do to help him/her feel better"… a possible suggestion will be to give a hug... (teacher may even direct some children to make an "I'm sorry" card to their victim)
• The teacher will then talk with the biter on a level that the child can understand.
• "I can see that you want that truck, but I can't let you hurt your friend. We don't put our teeth on people."
• The biter will not be able to return to the play that caused the biting.
• An accident report will be filled out and the victim's parents will be given a copy Parents of the biter will also be notified.